Adulting: How Do You Do This Thing?
Welp. I’m taking a break from film reviews with this post. I wanted to write something that has been causing a nuisance to my mind. I am 19, and the saying was right: it is a complicated age. Mostly because I'm in the transitional stage, I think. I’m sure there’ll be more challenges as you grow up, but, this stage is especially confusing. I know for a fact that emerging adulthood or the transitional phase is meant to be dedicated to self-exploration. The question is: how do you do that, exactly? How do you do this all adulting thing? Does it end, or is this a long-term journey? WHAT even is this thing?
This whole thing is a mixture of confusion, excitation, but mostly confusion. Was this whole thing about wanting to be who you are, without fully knowing who you are and what you really want? Frankly, I am overwhelmed. I do not know what I want. I thought I know, I did have something in mind. But as time goes by, it made me question my decisions (and possibly future decisions) a lot. How can I be sure if what I want now, is a stable thing, that I will still want in the future? Is there any way to guarantee that? I don’t have the answer and even if someone does, there’s no guarantee the answer’s applicable to me. Growing up is a subjective thing, after all.
This whole thing is tiring. As heck. I honestly don’t know how many nights I’ve spent wondering (with tears in my eyes, of course, because I’m sensitive like that, HA). I saw my friends, lots of achievement and accomplishment. Do not compare yourself to others because the pathway’s different for everyone, yes sure. But it is HARD to not compare, almost uncontrollable even. I personally don’t know yet what I am gonna do in the future. It’s not like I don’t have any plans or don’t make any effort at all, no it's far from that. It’s more of an internal thing and I am sick of people who make the state of not knowing, the state of currently exploring, the state of uncertainty, as something unacceptable.
If you have already found your passion, good for you, honestly. Genuinely happy for you.
That doesn’t mean you should belittle people who haven’t, though.
I still don’t know how long will it take for me to master, or at least understand the smallest bit of this whole adulting thing. I just hope things will get better, and everything will be clearer soon. I need to know that everything will turn out just fine.
In the meantime, I’ll just explore the endless possibilities. And reassure me that it is okay to still do self-exploration, despite the fact that most people have already finished theirs.
By. All. Means.
This post was a little bit of a mess, I’ll admit. Just wanted to let people out there, who might have the same problem as me, that it is okay, everything will turn out just fine. It will be okay. Just keep exploring, do not give up on yourself, and the most important thing: take good care of yourself.
I hope someday I can answer the big question of how do you do this whole adulting thing. But for now, working on reassuring myself should suffice. Baby steps, right?
